I have family, friends and associates who relate everything to trying to find a man. Even my male friends have thier opinion on women and what they need to do to get a man. I had a conversation with my homie the other day and he over there calculating how much time I got until it's time for me to marry. Giving me points for not having kids, subtracting some for not being into (or able) to cook. I don't think men sit around talking and/or worried about what they need to do to find a woman. Do they? Women do. The object of love and matrimony is for the souls and minds to meet and connect, not be on the hunt. When women don't have a man it seems as though we settle for the next best thing, and that could be any damn body. I had a friend who went to the other side (women) and came back. I asked her what she got out of it and she said she was doing worst than how she started out and those kinds of women are just like men. She got so lonely she went back to the ex who used to beat the hell out of her. There are many many stories I could share, but my point is: Ladies, love yourself. This does not include looking for a man. Now, just having fun with them is a different story. Take yourself out with the girls and have fun. Chances are, they ain't got a man either. LOL. It's all about You, how You feel, what decisions You make, and what makes You happy.

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Everyone's Favorite Newbie

You are so right.  Words spoken wisely.

I totally agree with you! And I definitely dont think you should change your ways to get a man. If a man cant love you for who you are then you dont need to be with him. Im happily single and not looking! Relationships just require to much energy that Im not willing to provide right now...good post BadianRasta!

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There are two ways to live life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein

 Passions03 wrote:I totally agree with you! And I definitely dont think you should change your ways to get a man. If a man cant love you for who you are then you dont need to be with him. Im happily single and not looking! Relationships just require to much energy that Im not willing to provide right now...good post BadianRasta!

 

Amen sista! Also, watch out for these sneaky a/s/s men out here perpetrating their singlehood. If he and his babymomma live together, they are in a relationship. No if's, ands or but's about it. Even if their not, you have to assume that they are because it's just common sense. I met a guy at the car wash and talked on the phone a few times before we went on a date. After the 2nd date I kept getting anonymous phone calls. I finally became suspicious and answered once. It was his babymomma questioning me and my business with her man. I kindly told her that I am no threat to her and the relationship she has with this guy. He said he was single and shared an apartment with a room mate. He did not say the room mate was his babymomma but he did mention that he had one. That's why at one point I was against dating men with children because you never know who's waiting in the bushes. It seems like these babymommas live to catch they're babydaddys in the act just to act a plum fool and embarass the hell out of themselves .

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Everyone's Favorite Newbie

LOL girl tell me about it. I know I could care less about what my baby daddy is doing or who he is seeing. I have to many other things that are way more important to worry about. And just to see how foolish some women act over their baby fathers, its really ridiculous, just because you have a child for him does not mean he is your property forever and your entitled to stalk him..lol..some chicks be on that stalker tip for real..lol. It really makes them look desperate.

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There are two ways to live life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein

I will agree and I'm a man. Guys don't sit around talking about what we need to do to get a woman. Its more or less the physical we talk about as it regards to woman. My minor disagreement is that if what you are doing it not working as far as finding a good man then I think you should change something. Myself personally, I'm a shorts and t-shirt kinda guy with sandals, but lets say for arguments sakeI try and approach a sista, I would get laughed at and dissed so thats something I had to change. Back to the subject, don't devote your whole life trying to find a man becase guys don't devote there lives trying to find a woman.

 dwbulldog04 wrote:I will agree and I'm a man. Guys don't sit around talking about what we need to do to get a woman. Its more or less the physical we talk about as it regards to woman. My minor disagreement is that if what you are doing it not working as far as finding a good man then I think you should change something. Myself personally, I'm a shorts and t-shirt kinda guy with sandals, but lets say for arguments sakeI try and approach a sista, I would get laughed at and dissed so thats something I had to change. Back to the subject, don't devote your whole life trying to find a man becase guys don't devote there lives trying to find a woman..

 

Changing one's self to find a mate is not minor. Intentionally doing anything to find " a good man" isn't idealistic in my opinion either. I wasn't concluding that women shouldn't devote their lives to finding a man because men don't do it. I stated that because there are more important things going on than seeking intimate companionship, like establishing a life, taking vactions, going shopping and keeping fit.

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Everyone's Favorite Newbie

I kind of agree, I would not changed jack though. why is the sista clowning you? That should tell u enough to know if you should waste ur time. Would u clown her if she had on shorts, shirt and sandles instead of skin tight something and some pumps!!

I have girlfriends who feel they are nothing without a man. They wear themselves out trying to get a man--any man. I wish they would just work on getting themselves together first and then find a mate, but they just don't seem to get it--that any man just won't do. There are some sisters who have it together and want a man with a great job, house and car, a retirement plan, and no kids, but that is a rare find in the black community. Its going to take a while before black men and women are on equal footing. To those who can't wait, I say be careful.

Most women simply want/need a man or may be some women dream about prince charming sweeping her off her feet. lol! Like the fairtale love stories. It's alright to dream, hope, wish but some women dream too much. Then she go out trying to make that dream a reality. Women also read books, watch movies, or see what other women have and want the same thing. I could be wrong but I know one thing, men don't sit around thinking about that stuff. When it happen it happen.