Does the baby becomes the center of your joy? or,are your mate still the center of your joy. Can a child divide the oneness that you and your spouse have become? Can you love the children,and still have the "first" love for your spouse?

Great post. I def. think so. I have seen this up close and personal on many occasions in the past, currently, and I imagine I will also see it in the future. There was only one instance when this was not the case. The wife even said that she would be sadder if something was to happen to her husband compared to her children. AND she said that she could live on if she lost her kids, even though it would be hard, but she would not be able to live if she lost her husband.

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Smiling all in my face, but won't say what's on your mind. If you don't like what I say, straight me then.

 Kiaana7 wrote:Great post. I def. think so. I have seen this up close and personal on many occasions in the past, currently, and I imagine I will also see it in the future. There was only one instance when this was not the case. The wife even said that she would be sadder if something was to happen to her husband compared to her children. AND she said that she could live on if she lost her kids, even though it would be hard, but she would not be able to live if she lost her husband.......Kiaana, check your pm please...

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Keep hatin'! You're making me famous!

^^^Got it CoCo!!!

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Smiling all in my face, but won't say what's on your mind. If you don't like what I say, straight me then.

both can be the center of your joy lol.but there is more to be done with a baby then a man.a man can get u in trouble lol seriously. i heard somethin on tv that a woman had a thing with this guy and everything.till she had to risk her and child with the fact that she didnt have no lights for her and child at home.

Forgive me for answering prematurely, my husband and I haven't been blessed with a child yet. All I know is nothing comes before him (my husband). Our babies are being prayed for and mutually planned. He and I are the protectors of the children, our babies will have both of us to look to, where as my bigger Baby, my Man he only has me. I give him what he needs as he does me, our babies will just be the blessing. What I do know from experiences of my siblings and my parents, all my siblings marriages failed-they and their spouses tried to have the kids as their focal point--but my parents, they were the focal point. the love they shared magnified the mutual love for the kids they created... If I can marginally duplicate that, I'll be happy. Watching our peers struggle has caused me and my husband to proceed with caution in adding to our family. We want life to be as we see it in our minds, we want babies-but it's going to be on our terms (inshallah).

When my child was placed in my arms, it was the greatest love that I'd ever known. It wasn't that I loved my husband less. But my husband didn't NEED me and totally depend on me. It's a powerful love. But I can't say that I loved my husband less. It's just that the love of a child is the most powerful thing a woman can experience. My children are now 34 and 30. And hubby and I are really loving each other now. It's the best time of our lives - kids grown, granchildren come to visit, travel, no financial problem. Life is good!!!

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I guess my post doesn't really count b/c I was getting tired of my baby's father while I was pregnant with my baby girl....

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I'm only a smartass because I'm surrounded by dumbasses.

After the baby is born,love for your husband returned?

If you're asking me organicone, no. I love him, just not in that way anymore. But I'll always love him as the father of my child.

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I'm only a smartass because I'm surrounded by dumbasses.

 organicone wrote:Does the baby becomes the center of your joy? or,are your mate still the center of your joy. Can a child divide the oneness that you and your spouse have become? Can you love the children,and still have the "first" love for your spouse?

 

If anything it brought us closer together. After we had our first son all we could do is talk about how his features were like both of us combined. It bonded us closer together. My sons are very close with their father and therefore the love flows over with us. I was getting a little jealous when I first had my oldest son though because my husband would hold him and talk with him a lot. He was just excited to have a Jr. and I think I was feeling a little postpartum jealousy. lol.

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Lead your life by example. That is the only way you can honestly be respected.

I don't think so!! I'm married with a daughter on the way in 2 months and the good thing about everything is we can afford her on our salaries (me, an accountant: she, a registered nurse and part club owner) so we got that understood and HELL no I'm not loving my wife less when she gives birth because the work it's going to take for my daughter to come into the world, I appreciate it and that's going to put a vice grip on our love for each other and her.

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Rap is something you do, HIP HOP IS SOMETHING YOU LIVE!!

 WELL I WENT THROUGH THAT YEARS AGO FEEFEES, IM A BROTHA WHO FOUND OUT THAT KIDS DEFINITELY CAME BEFORE THE LOVE FOR A MAN. SHE GAVE ALL ATTENTION TO MY BABIES IN WHICH I DID NOT KNOW WHY AT TIMES B/C I DID NOT GET THE CHANCE TO FIND OUT WHO SHE WAS UNTIL THE BABIES POURED OUT. AND AS THE YEARS CAME WE BROKE UP AND COULD NOT KEEP IT GOING, SO YES ITS A FRAKING MESS BLACK WOMAN YOU DO PUT YOUR MAN ASIDE. PLUS KEEP YOU GAY SECRETS TO YOURSELF UNTIL YOUR BEST FRIEND COMES AND TURN YOU OUT LIKE YOU REALLY WANT TO BE. WOMAN UNDERSTAND WOMEN I.E. LOVE EACH OTHER UNTIL YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET HOLDING HANDS AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU GOT AIDES. ( IM GOING TO CHANCE SOMETHING- IF YOU ARE A STRONG SOMEWHAT BLACK FEMALE SINGLE AND YOUR NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUT WANT TO CHAT AND TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO ABOUT THIS ISSUE DO SO BY EMAILING ME. I WAIT.) Big_baller_bryty6430@yahoo.com 

p.s. this is critcle cause i will always think this about women outside my family that you are no good and weakker than a wet sack of doodoo. so who will try!

KIANA YOUR ON DRUGS OR BATTERY ACID NEVER FORGET THAT WOMEN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REPLACEABLE LIKE US MEN, NUT MOST MOTHERS IN THERE MARRIAGES WILL NOT REPLACE THERE HUSBANDS IF THEY ARE CHRISTIAN ORIENTED, OTHER THAN THAT ALL YOU BLACK FEMALES WILL HOR AROUND UNTIL THERES A NEEGA AROUND TO PAY FOOTAGE, AND FOR WHAT.

THATS WHY OTHER THAN BLACK CHICKS YOUR NOT THE JUICIOUS ANY MORE THE WHITE CHICK GOT YAW BEAT 110% MORE BRIANS, LESS MOUTH, MORE STATUS AND DEFINITELY BETTER RAISED YOU SUCK!

DESPISER #1