We (blacks) need to stop letting that word have so much power over us.  As long as we respond to it.  Whites will always use it to push our buttons.  I can think of many names to call whites that make them just as irate and push their buttons.  My parents taught me word that sting  them, just like the words they use to sting us.  I was listening to a white girl talk about how her dad treated blacks in the south when she was little.  She used the "n" several times in her discriptions.  She also kept looking in my direction to see how I would react to it.  When I kept reading my magazine without so much as a flinch, other white co-workers asked me how I could sit there with no reaction, because they felt uncomfortable.  I responded that only trash use that word to make them feel better about themselves.  Since I was a lady with class and dignity, I didn't fit the sterotype.  I told them the people who use that word was more a "n" than I was.  I said all this within earshot of the white girl telling her stories.  I could tell by the tears that welled up in her eyes, that it hit her harder than a brick.   It took all of the powder out of the word, and I never heard her say it again.

"J" in Oklahoma City

I whole-heartedly agree. Being in the military, I deal with that topic of discussion almost daily. I explain it to people the same way. Being a young black male in society is very hard, but what's harder is rising above the stereotype and letting the ignorance of those around me go in one ear and out the other. When I first started in the military I had a real problem. I would hear people (mostly white) talk and it would piss me off. One day I just let go, when I heard this white kid say the "n" word. I cursed him and punched him, then some people broke it up. While I was going through the process of being reprimanded, I was still being defiant because I "thought" I was well within my rights after what he said. My supervisor, an older white man from backwoods Tennessee, told me I WAS acting like a "n"!! He also told me to look it up. I did, and it was something that, at 19, I had never done before. I will never forget what I read: "a person with a general lack of intelligence and sophistication". That blew my mind! Why, because that didn't fit me. It was an experience that really changed my outlook on things, including my childhood. Going to a mostly white high school in the south, there were alot of race fights because of that word. I felt stupid and very ignorant. While we can't forget what the word WAS used for. We need to realize that, just like any other word, if it doesn't apply to us. Why get angry and upset!?? "K" from VA