Hot_Coco_Luv wrote:I bet there wasn't a good husband guide........SMH...........See I wouldn't mind doing those things if I met the man of my dreams and felt he was truly worthy of that treatment. But dudes nowadays? I don't know.......I mean it would have to take one hell of a man to get me to doin' all that and be happy with it, and I ain't met that man yet......

This article is not referring to your "dude" or your "man", it's referring to your husband so it's safe to say that if you accepted his proposal and married him then he is deserving...right? I mean we've learned too much thus far to marry a man who does not deserve it....right?

I can't fully agree with you that it has to do with respect. I'm gonna go with 50/50 on your statement. I see your point about the respect factor, BUT it IS about insecurity too. Thats why i mentioned the thought process of a 2008 woman/wife. The wife thinks 'cheating' before anything else. It's pretty common for a woman to think he's late because he's with another woman than to think he's working late or even had a car accident. It's ok to be mad that he doesn't respect you enough to come home "on time", but when your firt though is "he's cheating" thats pretty insecure and now you have to question your relationship. a secure person has nothing to worry about until she sees that panty chain with the blonde pubes under the bed!

Take control and charge over your emotions and your physical self. Remember, a gentleman respects a young woman, her dignity and her honor. Never put a young lady in a position that would damage her reputation, family honor or standing in the community. Act with honor and integrity in all your affairs with the opposite SEX........................................................... ....Always be a gentlemen even after marriage. Remember to open doors for her, both literally and figuratively. Help her with her coat. Assist her with her chair especially in public places and always stand to greet an unknown woman who has entered your company. ..........................................................Be prepared and make preparations early. Remember, it is your responsibility as a man to take care of your wife and children.Be effective and work diligently. Strive to be an outstanding employee or business owner and provide outstanding service. In doing so, you guarantee a steady income for yourself and life without worry for your family........................ Preparation begins with the proper training and education...... ...................................................be frugal and pay your bills on time, every time! Establish an excellent relationship with a banker and remember to save, save, save. Lean good business sense and maintian a take charge attitude. Remember, it is your responsibility to negotiate a fair purchase price for a home as well as an automobile. .......................................................Leave your problems at the office/shop and take care of the family’s finances without fanfare. The family does not need to know or want to know how you are going to make the mortgage, pay for the automobiles, pay for the vacations, pay the insurances, the medical bills, the department store accounts, provide for groceries and a whole host of other things that are expected of you. They want to turn on a light switch and there is light and turn up the thermostat and there is heat or go to the activities center and the dues are paid. It is your duty as a man to make certain these necessities are provided for and taken care of in an almost effortless appearing manner. ...........................................................Know how to fix everything. The plumbing is your domain. The electrical work is your domain. The appliances are your domain. The backyard and grounds are your domain. Everything under your roof including the roof itself is your domain. When it gets broke…know how to fix it or who to call if you can’t!.............................................................Have honesty and integrity..........................................................Be available for to serve your community or help a friend or relative. This may take you away from your own family but it strengthens your community. Always be ready to volunteer. ........................................................Always be available for your children. Make your presence known at the school, in the church and in the community. Be available to those children who have lost their father defending this great country in the last war. ..............................................................Play hard. Make no apologies for taking time for yourself to do the things that you enjoy. So go ahead and play that third hand of poker with the boys. Have a cigar and a beer after that league softball or bowling tournament. Take the weekend and go fishing with the boys! Why? Because you’re taking care of family, community and country and you DESERVE IT! [Footnote…If a man has presented himself with honor and integrity from the start, there is no need to question the same in the absences of his wife’s presence.}.........................................................Never lose the element of surprise. Flowers given after work brightens her day after she has worked to prepare dinner and maintain an orderly home. Call your wife early to announce plans for a meal out as a family or recruit a sitter for a special night out alone. Arrange a long weekend together and let her shop to her heart’s desire.............................................................Don’t for get to stay healthy. Look sharp and maintain your assertiveness. Good physical exercise and those visits to the gym will assure she stays happy after the two of you have turned in for the evening!

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You See, It's all about Family!

Who better to comment on the roll of the 1950’s man as husband than a man who’s family is stuck in the same!

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You See, It's all about Family!

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 hadassah1 wrote:

 Hot_Coco_Luv wrote:I bet there wasn't a good husband guide........SMH...........See I wouldn't mind doing those things if I met the man of my dreams and felt he was truly worthy of that treatment. But dudes nowadays? I don't know.......I mean it would have to take one hell of a man to get me to doin' all that and be happy with it, and I ain't met that man yet......

This article is not referring to your "dude" or your "man", it's referring to your husband so it's safe to say that if you accepted his proposal and married him then he is deserving...right? I mean we've learned too much thus far to marry a man who does not deserve it....right?

.................................Alright you got me hadassah.......lol..........To clarify, if he is all I want need and desire in a man (aka the man of my dreams) and I marry him, then he'll be worthy of that treatment. But that last line regarding a wife should know her place is not sittin' well with me though. I can't explain why, but it just doesn't.

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Keep hatin'! You're making me famous!

 staticspark1947 wrote: Published in the May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly.

• * Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

I have never understood a woman who does not have dinner on the table, house cleaned, and laundry done when her husband returns from work...this comment is strictly for stay at home wives and mothers.  Even though I work all day and come home to care for 3 children, I always have dinner on the table, my house is at least in order, and his uniforms are washed and ready for the next work day.    

• * Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• * Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

• * Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

• * Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

• * Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• * Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

• * Be happy to see him.

• * Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

• * Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• * Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

• * Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

• * Don't greet him with complaints or problems.

• * Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

• * Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

• * Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

• * Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

• * A good wife always knows her place.

When I first read this, it was during my freshman year in college.  My first thought was "Oh heck naw, I would never treat any man like that."  Now that I am older, I have no problem with any of these except tor the staying out all night.   I feel that if you have a good man (husband, not b/f or baby daddy) who is taking care of home and his business, then you should have no problem catering to him the way that he deserves. 

Man freak all that.......where's the bullet about her wrapping her soup cooler's around my applehead after a hard day's work?  Freak the washer/dryer, freak the tv, I want some good ol' fashioned, "head doin' the YES motion" skully!  Fellas, can I get a RIGHT ON SOUL BROTHA?????! 

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Thanks to BET and it's supreme whackness, I wasn't able to get into my old username. I used to be (TheAgnosticAHole), but you may refer to me now as, HIS HIGHNESS, or, Fuh_Q.

betomb it's called taking good care of each other!........... I think we have forgotten how to take care of each other. …….Most black women in the 1950’s did not live that life or follow those rules. They lived a life that resembles the majority of woman today. They worked and had a level of security and independence that in a lot of cases was (naively) envied by the majority woman. The 1950’s black man probably had a little envy of the pampering going on in the majority household. After the 1960’s, when a lot of poor women where paid a stipend to have children and punished for having a man in the house, the attitude developed that they did not need a man (beyond procreation.) After the 1960’s, the majority woman declared her independence and left a lot of men angry and feeling deprived of missing what their father’s had. The 1970’s saw the advent of birth control and the legalization of abortion. A woman was no longer held hostage to her body and the “weak position” that a child would put her in. The 1980’s witnessed laws instituted in the workplace to protect women and ensure that they could participate at all levels of the workplace. The MARKET welcomed this extra muscle with open arms. Women added to the GNP and this country's collective productivity. The financial markets loved women in the workplace! The 1990’s saw for the first time a majority of women leaving children in daycare. There was no one at home to take care of elderly parents and latchkey was the after school babysitter not other women. Women in general saw the decline of their support group – other women because most women where in the workforce. ………..Then with two incomes, housing pricing escalated as two earner families out bid each other for prime housing. The overall cost of living became modeled on two people working and the die was cast……..2001 saw for the first time women questing themselves about the wisdom of their family abandonment. As they sat around televisions and saw fellow women jumping from 110 floors to their deaths, they start to question what the meaning of their womanhood is. But the genie was out of the bottle. The market needed TWO incomes. Now the majority woman is just as miserable as her 1950 black sister. She has to work outside of the home and have to do the MAJORITY of the work inside the home. Some white men help out, but the majorities do not! Now we have the advent of the “ANGRY WHITE WOMAN!” Now many men are saying no to marriage! Many men are losing respect for woman (hence the popularity of degrading rap music among young white males.) Many men witness their father’s lose everything to divorce. Many men want no part in this liberated world we have created – so they delay of forgo marriage. The 2010’s will see a decline in marriage by all Americans in general……..We have simply forgotten how to take good care of each other. And now, neither can we afford to.

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You See, It's all about Family!

^ EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Hot_Coco_Luv wrote: hadassah1 wrote:

 Hot_Coco_Luv wrote:I bet there wasn't a good husband guide........SMH...........See I wouldn't mind doing those things if I met the man of my dreams and felt he was truly worthy of that treatment. But dudes nowadays? I don't know.......I mean it would have to take one hell of a man to get me to doin' all that and be happy with it, and I ain't met that man yet......

This article is not referring to your "dude" or your "man", it's referring to your husband so it's safe to say that if you accepted his proposal and married him then he is deserving...right? I mean we've learned too much thus far to marry a man who does not deserve it....right?

.................................Alright you got me hadassah.......lol..........To clarify, if he is all I want need and desire in a man (aka the man of my dreams) and I marry him, then he'll be worthy of that treatment. But that last line regarding a wife should know her place is not sittin' well with me though. I can't explain why, but it just doesn't.

It may be because of the way that "we" were raised, my mom taught me that women are equal to men and not to let a man push me around. I was like that as well until I learned what true submission is. It's an act of respect and trust. I could not imagine submitting to a man until after I submitted my life to God. Again, we are not speaking of "any" man but we are speaking on your husband.

^^Exactly Hadassah.  The majority of women within this generation do not understand the definition of true submission.  They view it as demeaning and derogatory and believe that it will erase their independence and sense of self because we are being raised in that manner. 

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There are no elevators to success. Every one must take the stairs.

^^ I'M BEING SCHOOLED RIGHT NOW. THAT'S WHY I LOVE THIS MAN( The American)!!! ~~ YOU GO BOYYYYYYYY :)

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~* I want a nice, hot cup of Ebony City with whipped cream on top and extra chocolate chips *~

Oh! you know I love me some kept too! (LOL!)

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You See, It's all about Family!